From Butterflies to Bravery: The Power of Positive Stress in Children

We all know stress isn’t exactly fun – but here’s the twist: not all stress is bad. In fact, some stress, when it’s the right kind and in the right amount, can actually help children grow, learn, and thrive. This is called positive stress (or eustress), and it’s a normal and healthy part of life.

When children experience positive stress in safe, supportive environments, they’re practising for the bigger challenges they’ll face later. Think of it like lifting small weights before you tackle the heavy ones – it builds strength, resilience, and confidence. It’s a bit like riding a bike for the first time: your heart’s racing, your hands are gripping tight, and you’re not sure if you’ll wobble or fall – but when you push through with encouragement and practise, that nervous energy turns into a huge sense of achievement.

What Is Positive Stress for Kids?

Positive stress is the type of stress that challenges children just enough to stretch their skills without overwhelming them. Instead of shutting them down, it energises them and teaches them how to cope. They might feel a flutter of nerves, a rush of excitement, or a little frustration but with encouragement and the right tools, those feelings lead to growth.

Some examples?

• Performing in the school play

  
  

• Trying a new sport for the first time

  
  

• Answering a tricky question in front of the class

  
  

• Going on a school camp without their parents

  
  

• Meeting new friends at a birthday party

  
  

Everyday Ways to Introduce Positive Stress

Here are some safe, age-appropriate ways to give children healthy challenges that build resilience:

1. Physical Challenges

Why it works: Activities like climbing at the playground, trying a new swimming stroke, or learning to ride a bike push children out of their comfort zone physically – and mentally.How to try it: Set small, achievable goals (e.g., “Let’s see if you can swing for 10 seconds without stopping”). Celebrate effort, not just results.

2. Performance Moments

Why it works: Speaking at assembly, reading aloud to the class, or performing in a talent show can feel nerve-wracking, but with support, these experiences boost confidence and teach self-control under pressure.How to try it: Role-play at home, practise together, and remind them that mistakes are part of learning.

3. Problem-Solving Activities

Why it works: Puzzles, building challenges, and team games create small doses of mental stress that sharpen thinking skills and encourage persistence.How to try it: Use age-appropriate challenges like Lego builds with time limits or treasure hunts that require clues to be solved.

4. Trying Something New

Why it works: New situations – a different food, a new class, a community event – teach children how to adapt and manage uncertainty.How to try it: Let them make choices within the new experience (e.g., picking their seat in a new club), so they feel a sense of control.

5. Time-Limited Tasks

Why it works: Deadlines create gentle pressure, teaching children how to work efficiently and manage their energy.How to try it: Set a “beat the clock” challenge for tidying toys, completing a drawing, or finishing homework.

How Positive Stress Helps Children Grow

When children regularly experience positive stress, they:

1. Learn coping strategies – They practise deep breathing, self-talk, and problem-solving in real time.

   
   

2. Build resilience – Their “stress muscles” get stronger, so they bounce back faster after challenges.

   
   

3. Gain confidence – Achieving something they once found scary feels like a superpower.

   
   

4. Adapt more easily – New situations feel less overwhelming because they’ve built a track record of “I’ve done hard things before.”

   
   

Supporting Children Through Positive Stress

For positive stress to stay positive, the key is support. Adults can:

• Be calm and encouraging during challenges

  
  

• Acknowledge the child’s feelings (“I can see you’re nervous – that’s okay, it means your body is getting ready to do something important”)

  
  

• Break big challenges into smaller, manageable steps

  
  

• Celebrate effort and progress, not just the outcome

  
  

Positive stress isn’t about pushing children into overwhelm – it’s about giving them safe opportunities to stretch, stumble, and succeed, with us right there to cheer them on. Over time, they’ll see that feeling a bit nervous or challenged is just part of learning and living and they’ll have the skills to turn that stress into strength.

Isabelle Russell

Founder of Mindful Mushkins